I’m still figuring things out.
For instance, if my personal life was a game of Blackjack, I’d be really hesitant to take another hit unless I was absolutely confident the next card was an ace, because I’m pretty close to “bust” — in more ways than one.
Like everyone else, I have a temporary purpose during the proverbial “9 to 5”, but after I clock out all of that sense of meaning falls away like dry skin as a snake is shedding plates.
You see, nothing sticks to me.
I’ve misplaced the plethora of labels I’ve worn.
My old job titles are smudged in pencil in an old reporter’s notebook stashed in a storage unit I rarely visit.
My definitions are constantly in flux as I absorb new information and look out at the world through slightly more evolved eyes by the moment.
And in this state, I wonder how we ever let ourselves believe in the illusion of anything ever staying the same. Perhaps it’s based in our own fear of constantly having to adapt to new things.
After all, that’s never comfortable, and we’re a people based on throwing money at companies for pointless knick-knacks of convenience rather than, say, donating to a cause to help feed the underserved in our own communities.
My point is, change isn’t convenient. But whether you like it or not, change is one of the only consistent things in life.
If you fear change, I offer you this thought:
Change is neither good nor bad on its own. It comes down to how you choose to view it.
As Milton wrote in Paradise Lost:
“The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.”
You can choose to look at the sunrise as a perpetually pox on your seemingly never-ending life.
Or you can look at each sunrise as an agent of change — a light that awakens a fresh and changed version of you, in a brand-new world of pristine people, with spick-and-span possibilities ready to find you or be sought out by you.
Now, I know some people (even myself at times) will say: But I don’t want to lie to myself.
In response, I’d simply say this:
The words “lie” and “hope” are not that different.
Both are about saying or believing something without evidence in order to achieve a desired result.
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